How does Santa know if you've been good?

[TC]

Sung to the tune of..."Santa Claus is Coming to Town"

Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why,
Santa Claus is tapping your phone!

He's buggin your room,
He's reading your mail,
He's keeping a file
And runnin a tail
Santa Claus is tapping your phone!

He hears you in the bedroom
Surveills you out of doors
And if that doesn't get the goods
Then he'll use provocateurs.

So you mustn't assume
That you are secure
On Christmas Eve
He'll kick in your door

Santa Claus is tapping your phone!

[Thunderstruck]

Santa is an ASIO agent!

[TC]

Santa is an ASIO agent!

Didn't you ever wonder how he knew you were staying at Grandma's house???

[Super Cronk]

that was good...

"So you mustn't assume
That you are secure
On Christmas Eve
He'll kick in your door "

[Thunderstruck]

Here's one I found.

Santa Claus Was Coming To Oz

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better be good
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to Oz

He's coming across
The water tonight
Got lots to give
Everybody, that's right
Santa Claus is coming to Oz

The navy's gone to meet him
Have they brought Christmas cake?
They don't know if he's bad or good -
He's been stopped, for goodness sake!

His sleigh is too small
He's got a strange crew
Has no passport
He's jumping the queue
Santa Claus was coming to Oz

He grows a long beard
He wears foreign clothes
Security risk
The government knows
Santa Claus was coming to Oz

He throws elves in the water
To sneak in our country
The PM says it's all on film
And that's good enough for me

They've taken him off
To Tuvalu shores
He won't bother me
Or you any more
Santa Claus ain't coming to Oz

You better watch out
There's no Christmas Isle
In Australia no more
I'm telling you why:
Cause Santa Claus ain't coming to Oz.

Copyright; David Peetz
Email: davidpeetz@yahoo.com.au