ho ho ho

[Super Cronk]

this is a little carol thing my mum got from her work...some bits might not be suitable for some youngsters

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Everybody felt shitty
Even the mouse

Mum at the whorehouse
And dad smoking grass
I’d just settled down
For a nice piece of ass

When out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my place
To see what was the matter

Then out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment
It must be Saint Nick


He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment
The lima lima lima duck had fell

He filled all our stockings
With pretzels and beer
And a big rubber dick
For my brother , the queer

He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart
The son of a bitch
Blew the chimney apart

He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight
Piss on you all
And have a hell of a night

[Thunderstruck]

truly teh awesome!

[Surandy]

Posted on LU:

Futurama has a Xmas episode where Robot Santa kills anyone who is naughty. And they call it 'Ex- mass' lol.
The Xmas song:
He knows when your are sleeping,
He knows when you're on the can,
He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan.
You better not breathe, you better not move,
You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude.
Santa Claus is gunning you down!

[Thunderstruck]

Aussie Style Jingle Bells

Dashing through the bush,
in a rusty Holden Ute,
Kicking up the dust,
esky in the boot,
Kelpie by my side,
singing Christmas songs,
It's Summer time and I am in
my singlet, shorts and thongs

Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christmas in Australia on a scorching summers day, Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut !,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden Ute.

Engine's getting hot;
we dodge the kangaroos,
The swaggie climbs aboard,
he is welcome too.
All the family's there,
sitting by the pool,
Christmas Day the Aussie way,
by the barbecue.

Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christmas in Australia on a scorching summers day, Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut!,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden Ute.

Come the afternoon,
Grandpa has a doze,
The kids and Uncle Bruce,
are swimming in their clothes.
The time comes 'round to go,
we take the family snap,
Pack the car and all shoot through,
before the washing up.

Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christmas in Australia on a scorching summers day, Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut!,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden Ute.

Author Unknown