The New Mascots
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Filthy Teeve
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Pretend for a moment that the NRL was having it's inaugural year next year. The same teams were in the comp, however they all needed mascots. It's hard to imagine that mascots including small, furry introduced pests, long slimy marine animals or farm animals that made Colonel Sanders rich would be overly high on todays 'scary name' rating. So, what would today's teams be called? Should they be reflective of the particular area's cultral, polictial or dental belief's, or simply picked from the A-Z of animals that will hurt you if poked with a stick.
I think, for agruements sake, it would be safe to assume that some teams would retain their mascot status. The NZ Warriors would probably have the same name or at least something akin to it's continual fighting two finger salutes to the world political powers. The Nth Qld Cowboys would almost have to stay becuase its easier for the locals to spell than The Pineapples (too many P's). In addition, every sporting code needs their completely boring Lion's, Tigers and Bear's (oh my) mascots, and since the Western Suburbs is still as boring as a blackboard, it should honourably retain it's Tiger *Yawn* mascot.
So, let's start with Melbourne. I've always held the belief that the name Storm was a practical joke by the Sydney hob-nobs who branded us with the name to remind us that our drinking water is regularly topped up and constantly drinkable. It is a name that is somewhat appropriate to the Melbourne's weather but perhaps something more like The Danni's (in reference to Danni Minogue and her continual struggle to make people believe that she is better than the Kylie, or in Melbourne's case, Sydney). Another opton was my idea when Melbourne put their mascot name to the public vote back in 1996/7. I believed the name the "Melbourne Juggernauts" and still would like to see the name used somewhere, however some potty minded people may snigger themselves into a stupor everytime someone yelled "Come On Jugs" or heard a commentator cry "and the Jugs have burst through their flimsy containment"
The Raiders is a name I'm not sure is exactly a name that Australia's politcal HQ may want to be associated with these days. In fact in stark oppostion Canberra is known for not really moving at all, except around and around and around in continual traffic circles. So maybe the Traffic Hazards or the Circles would be apt for Canberra. Either that or the Lincoln's, after Australian Everest climber Lincoln Hall, because a visit to Canberra will give you frost bite and leave you for dead. In fact, perhaps Canberra should aquire the Bronco's as their mascot. It would add amusment to the already high state of confusion in town when people try to differenciate between which horsey mascot plays for which rugby code, and the the name Bronco is oh so close to Bronchitis, a guarrantee in Canberra.
Following the political theme we move to Manly, which in reality can only have one name which reflects Sydney's proud (don't deny guys) gay community, and we all know what that name is. The Manly Men is a mascot that suits the Speedo wearing, Baywatch recording community so well and it would be a shame to call them anything else. Ok, maybe something related to the famous ferries. How about the Manly Titanics? No... that sunk. Ok, the Manly Bismarks? No... that sunk. Ok ok, the Manly Poseidons. No.. that sunk also. Nope, bugger it, it's the Manly Men.
The third policitally themed mascot could surely be attached to our friends from Cronulla. The recent riots must provide some sort inspirational and powerful mascot that unfairly brands the area as a bunch of rowdy no hopers. But is fair to taint this palm tree lined, quiet, and indeed picturesque little suburb by the actions of all those Manly fans? Yes, cleary it is. Henceforth, they shall be know as the Cronulla TrevorChappells, the shame of Australia.
What kind of name is The Rabbitohs? It's a bloody rabbit for heaven's sake! The only fiesty rabbit I know is from Donny Darko and, yes whilst he was quite scary, you had to be 'high' to see him. Ahhh, I get it now, the Rabbitohs is a perfect name for South Sydney. A little cryptic but very smart.
Canturbury. The options are enormous. In fact, I'm not even going to name most of them. I will name my favorite though. They should be known as the Canturbury 428's, after the Bus line thats goes from near Canturbury to Botany Bay. Why? cause it's the 'Bay Route'. Get it?
You could almost get away with keeping the Newcastle Knights. It flows off the tongue nicely. But, for the hell of it the new mascot should be in recognition to all those nasty selfish travellers who have flown into Sydney at 23:01 and woken up all those sleeping people who though buying that cheap house next to the airport would solve their insomnia problems. Yes, Newcastle is the aviational late night back door into a sleeping, innocent Sydney and thus should be called the Newcastle Bouncers.
Brisbane needs a name that is more suited to the Brisbane itself, as it is not often you see an untamed horse doing as they pleased through the down town suburbs, except for when the West Indian cricket team is in town. It's AFL counterpart have more than overed used the Lions, Tigers and Bears (oh my) theory, so we can't opt out for the cheap alternative. No, Brisbane need a sleek name, something the portrays it's mantle of being arguably the best team in the comp for the last 20 years, something that says 'We have been great for so bloody long now that no one come close.' I know. The Brisbane Bastards.
For some reason, I can't get past the Sydney City Snobs. I'm sorry, I can't help it, it's like when your trying to think of how a song goes but you can't help but keep referring back to another song. If Sydney City could become British, it would. That's how snobby they are and we all know it. So, the Snobs it is. If you don't like it, pull your nose in.
Come to think of it, the Dragons is probably quite an apt name for St.George. Not only is there the obvious connection between St.G and the Dragon, but as St.G shall forever be the enternal Grand Final runners up, much like all the dragons in every fairy tale, the name should stay.
NKOTB Gold Coast could hardly have scored a more sissy, wannabe tough name as the Titans. Come on, who came up with that? Unfortunatly Rabbitohs have already been taken so after some thought I have come up with some possible names that may be ok to use. First, the Giants. Hey, why stop at stealing one failed basketball team name. Or maybe the Seagulls? It is the Gold Coast and apparently there are some seagulls there? Finally, I have a strange motivation to offer the Chargers as a name. Don't know why, but it all feels very very deja vu.
Penrith. Penrith. Penrith. Nothing rhymes with Penrith. In fact the only thing that comes close to it is a person with a lisp saying penis. Could that be potential mascot? The Penrith Willyth? Alas, we digress from the true purpose of this increasingly growing (again with the penith link) topic. What is Penrith? It's a 'town' iles from anywhere situated high up in the hills, has regular moccasin sales, a bloody big leagues club and an even bigger Centrelink limbo line. I know, the Penrith Frankstonites.
Finally, thankfully, we come to the more obscure and oddly named mascot EVER. Picture this. The then NSWRL bosses are sitting around a table in Sydney. The decide they want a team in Parramatta but can't for the life of them think of a mascot. In a moment of clarity they decide that yellow and blue shall be the team colours, figuring that the mass of yellow and blue creatures and generally threatening mascots will offer an mascot option. Upon the realisation that there are very very few yellow and blue creatures or generally scary mascots and figuring that the colour scheme what perhaps a mistake, something happened around that table in Sydney that made those bosses not only think of, of all creatures.... an eel but also felt it worthy enough to take on the might of other scary mascots like the Jets, Steelers and the Rabbitohs. So stiff Para, you can keep your Eels, purely out of shame.
So there. That's my thoughts. I invite anyone else to continue this lunacy
I think, for agruements sake, it would be safe to assume that some teams would retain their mascot status. The NZ Warriors would probably have the same name or at least something akin to it's continual fighting two finger salutes to the world political powers. The Nth Qld Cowboys would almost have to stay becuase its easier for the locals to spell than The Pineapples (too many P's). In addition, every sporting code needs their completely boring Lion's, Tigers and Bear's (oh my) mascots, and since the Western Suburbs is still as boring as a blackboard, it should honourably retain it's Tiger *Yawn* mascot.
So, let's start with Melbourne. I've always held the belief that the name Storm was a practical joke by the Sydney hob-nobs who branded us with the name to remind us that our drinking water is regularly topped up and constantly drinkable. It is a name that is somewhat appropriate to the Melbourne's weather but perhaps something more like The Danni's (in reference to Danni Minogue and her continual struggle to make people believe that she is better than the Kylie, or in Melbourne's case, Sydney). Another opton was my idea when Melbourne put their mascot name to the public vote back in 1996/7. I believed the name the "Melbourne Juggernauts" and still would like to see the name used somewhere, however some potty minded people may snigger themselves into a stupor everytime someone yelled "Come On Jugs" or heard a commentator cry "and the Jugs have burst through their flimsy containment"
The Raiders is a name I'm not sure is exactly a name that Australia's politcal HQ may want to be associated with these days. In fact in stark oppostion Canberra is known for not really moving at all, except around and around and around in continual traffic circles. So maybe the Traffic Hazards or the Circles would be apt for Canberra. Either that or the Lincoln's, after Australian Everest climber Lincoln Hall, because a visit to Canberra will give you frost bite and leave you for dead. In fact, perhaps Canberra should aquire the Bronco's as their mascot. It would add amusment to the already high state of confusion in town when people try to differenciate between which horsey mascot plays for which rugby code, and the the name Bronco is oh so close to Bronchitis, a guarrantee in Canberra.
Following the political theme we move to Manly, which in reality can only have one name which reflects Sydney's proud (don't deny guys) gay community, and we all know what that name is. The Manly Men is a mascot that suits the Speedo wearing, Baywatch recording community so well and it would be a shame to call them anything else. Ok, maybe something related to the famous ferries. How about the Manly Titanics? No... that sunk. Ok, the Manly Bismarks? No... that sunk. Ok ok, the Manly Poseidons. No.. that sunk also. Nope, bugger it, it's the Manly Men.
The third policitally themed mascot could surely be attached to our friends from Cronulla. The recent riots must provide some sort inspirational and powerful mascot that unfairly brands the area as a bunch of rowdy no hopers. But is fair to taint this palm tree lined, quiet, and indeed picturesque little suburb by the actions of all those Manly fans? Yes, cleary it is. Henceforth, they shall be know as the Cronulla TrevorChappells, the shame of Australia.
What kind of name is The Rabbitohs? It's a bloody rabbit for heaven's sake! The only fiesty rabbit I know is from Donny Darko and, yes whilst he was quite scary, you had to be 'high' to see him. Ahhh, I get it now, the Rabbitohs is a perfect name for South Sydney. A little cryptic but very smart.
Canturbury. The options are enormous. In fact, I'm not even going to name most of them. I will name my favorite though. They should be known as the Canturbury 428's, after the Bus line thats goes from near Canturbury to Botany Bay. Why? cause it's the 'Bay Route'. Get it?
You could almost get away with keeping the Newcastle Knights. It flows off the tongue nicely. But, for the hell of it the new mascot should be in recognition to all those nasty selfish travellers who have flown into Sydney at 23:01 and woken up all those sleeping people who though buying that cheap house next to the airport would solve their insomnia problems. Yes, Newcastle is the aviational late night back door into a sleeping, innocent Sydney and thus should be called the Newcastle Bouncers.
Brisbane needs a name that is more suited to the Brisbane itself, as it is not often you see an untamed horse doing as they pleased through the down town suburbs, except for when the West Indian cricket team is in town. It's AFL counterpart have more than overed used the Lions, Tigers and Bears (oh my) theory, so we can't opt out for the cheap alternative. No, Brisbane need a sleek name, something the portrays it's mantle of being arguably the best team in the comp for the last 20 years, something that says 'We have been great for so bloody long now that no one come close.' I know. The Brisbane Bastards.
For some reason, I can't get past the Sydney City Snobs. I'm sorry, I can't help it, it's like when your trying to think of how a song goes but you can't help but keep referring back to another song. If Sydney City could become British, it would. That's how snobby they are and we all know it. So, the Snobs it is. If you don't like it, pull your nose in.
Come to think of it, the Dragons is probably quite an apt name for St.George. Not only is there the obvious connection between St.G and the Dragon, but as St.G shall forever be the enternal Grand Final runners up, much like all the dragons in every fairy tale, the name should stay.
NKOTB Gold Coast could hardly have scored a more sissy, wannabe tough name as the Titans. Come on, who came up with that? Unfortunatly Rabbitohs have already been taken so after some thought I have come up with some possible names that may be ok to use. First, the Giants. Hey, why stop at stealing one failed basketball team name. Or maybe the Seagulls? It is the Gold Coast and apparently there are some seagulls there? Finally, I have a strange motivation to offer the Chargers as a name. Don't know why, but it all feels very very deja vu.
Penrith. Penrith. Penrith. Nothing rhymes with Penrith. In fact the only thing that comes close to it is a person with a lisp saying penis. Could that be potential mascot? The Penrith Willyth? Alas, we digress from the true purpose of this increasingly growing (again with the penith link) topic. What is Penrith? It's a 'town' iles from anywhere situated high up in the hills, has regular moccasin sales, a bloody big leagues club and an even bigger Centrelink limbo line. I know, the Penrith Frankstonites.
Finally, thankfully, we come to the more obscure and oddly named mascot EVER. Picture this. The then NSWRL bosses are sitting around a table in Sydney. The decide they want a team in Parramatta but can't for the life of them think of a mascot. In a moment of clarity they decide that yellow and blue shall be the team colours, figuring that the mass of yellow and blue creatures and generally threatening mascots will offer an mascot option. Upon the realisation that there are very very few yellow and blue creatures or generally scary mascots and figuring that the colour scheme what perhaps a mistake, something happened around that table in Sydney that made those bosses not only think of, of all creatures.... an eel but also felt it worthy enough to take on the might of other scary mascots like the Jets, Steelers and the Rabbitohs. So stiff Para, you can keep your Eels, purely out of shame.
So there. That's my thoughts. I invite anyone else to continue this lunacy
Smoking Is The Leading Cause Of Statistics
the Manly Poseidons sounds good since Poseidon was the Green god of the sea. Manly as far as I know doesn't have that large of a gay community and something you must remember about the Northern Beaches some of the external shots for Home and Away are shot there.Following the political theme we move to Manly, which in reality can only have one name which reflects Sydney's proud (don't deny guys) gay community, and we all know what that name is. The Manly Men is a mascot that suits the Speedo wearing, Baywatch recording community so well and it would be a shame to call them anything else. Ok, maybe something related to the famous ferries. How about the Manly Titanics? No... that sunk. Ok, the Manly Bismarks? No... that sunk. Ok ok, the Manly Poseidons. No.. that sunk also. Nope, bugger it, it's the Manly Men.
She's gone! The wicked witch is gone! Oh - I like snowballing too!
So the Manly SallyFlynns ... or the Manly SummerBays ..... or the Manly Alf "strewth Ails" Stewarts!!lotti wrote:the Manly Poseidons sounds good since Poseidon was the Green god of the sea. Manly as far as I know doesn't have that large of a gay community and something you must remember about the Northern Beaches some of the external shots for Home and Away are shot there.Following the political theme we move to Manly, which in reality can only have one name which reflects Sydney's proud (don't deny guys) gay community, and we all know what that name is. The Manly Men is a mascot that suits the Speedo wearing, Baywatch recording community so well and it would be a shame to call them anything else. Ok, maybe something related to the famous ferries. How about the Manly Titanics? No... that sunk. Ok, the Manly Bismarks? No... that sunk. Ok ok, the Manly Poseidons. No.. that sunk also. Nope, bugger it, it's the Manly Men.
I could go on ..... but I won't.
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Blitzkrieg
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Admittedly it describes Frankston well except for the part about being up in the hills (btw I live not too far from Frankston, it's down south-east by the seaside for those who don't know Melbourne) - so I think the Penrith Belgrave-ites would be better, as the above quote sounds more to me like Belgrave (apologies to anyone who lives up there)What is Penrith? It's a 'town' iles from anywhere situated high up in the hills, has regular moccasin sales, a bloody big leagues club and an even bigger Centrelink limbo line. I know, the Penrith Frankstonites.
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
Sounds like Broadmeadows a decade or so ago.Neddy Seagoon wrote:Admittedly it describes Frankston well except for the part about being up in the hills (btw I live not too far from Frankston, it's down south-east by the seaside for those who don't know Melbourne) - so I think the Penrith Belgrave-ites would be better, as the above quote sounds more to me like Belgrave (apologies to anyone who lives up there) :mrgreen:What is Penrith? It's a 'town' iles from anywhere situated high up in the hills, has regular moccasin sales, a bloody big leagues club and an even bigger Centrelink limbo line. I know, the Penrith Frankstonites.
