An Ode to Matty Orford's Contractual Whoredom

[Billy-Bob]

Oh Matty Orford's magic
is turned into a rat:
though he's loved in Olympic Park,
you wonder where he's at.
Is he signed with the Sea Eagles
or will he lima lima lima duck off to the Brits?
He can't be focused on the Storm;
when his game's so very shit.

Has anyone noticed how few people sing the Matty Orford song these days?
Did anyone notice how crap his kicks looked without Billy Slater flying onto them?
Can everyone see now why Orford isn't getting selected for representative football?

I'm so sick of hearing that Matty Orford will sign here, there, and everywhere - except with the Storm! I didn't mind when he was doing his job - and I thought it would be sorted out before long - but I reckon the Storm should tell him to bloody-well go and whistle, and start training up another halfback. Unlike Noddy, who actually (I hate to say) is a damn fine halfback, Orford's rise is solely due to Bellamy.

I say, take all the hundreds of thousands we're wasting on Orford's contract and beg Bellamy, who is worth every single cent, to stay with the Storm. Even if it takes the whole season to nurture another No. 7 it'll be worth it: Orford's contractual saga is becoming a real burden for the club. And what's more, if we don't get rid of him, he might actually take a couple others with. The rumours about Matty King are circulating already, and who knows who else?

Melbourne Storm, tell Matty Orford and all the other contractual whores lurking in our team, that unless they want to play in Melbourne because they want to create something special here, they can go back to pulling beers at the Cricketer's Arms Hotel and playing back-up to a no-name halfback for a two-bit team in a one-horse town in lima lima lima duck no-man's land, just so he can have as many zeros on his pay-cheque as I'd give his service to the Storm.

lima lima lima duck every single player who stood around twiddling his thumbs during the Bulldogs game; I can't remember the last time I was so embaressed to bring someone to see the Storm.

[stormgirl]

Melbourne Storm, tell Matty Orford and all the other contractual whores lurking in our team, that unless they want to play in Melbourne because they want to create something special here, they can go back to pulling beers at the Cricketer's Arms Hotel and playing back-up to a no-name halfback for a two-bit team in a one-horse town in lima lima lima duck no-man's land, just so he can have as many zeros on his pay-cheque as I'd give his service to the Storm.

Hear, hear! I don't feel I need to add any more to that

[TC]

We thought that Matt was magic
And that he wore the hat
We knew he couldn't kick for goal
But were OK with that
But now the team is struggling
And it seems he's lost the plot
He's asked for heaps of money
But his game just ain't so hot.

Our forward pack were magic
But some of them have gone
No Kearney and with Robbo out
they just don't seem so strong.
Matt doesn't have the room to move
His backs don't give support
Unless they learn to hold the ball
Storm will always come up short

[Super Cronk]

We thought that Matt was magic
And that he wore the hat
We knew he couldn't kick for goal
But were OK with that
But now the team is struggling
And it seems he's lost the plot
He's asked for heaps of money
But his game just ain't so hot.

Our forward pack were magic
But some of them have gone
No Kearney and with Robbo out
they just don't seem so strong.
Matt doesn't have the room to move
His backs don't give support
Unless they learn to hold the ball
Storm will always come up short

that was excellent!

[Insomniac]

Yeah, well done TC!

[cam]

lol good on ya. and yeah, i agree with what was said about orford.

Just gotta ask a question, why is it the people in the top of the western grandstand dont like when the songs sung? Is anyone here one of those people, and if so.... why shouldnt we have some "fun" at games and a bit of a sing.

By the way im not one of the guys who sing it, but have no problem with them and think there doing a good job. Pity the snobs (no offence to anyone here.. lol) up the top apparently want to watch the game in dead silence.. how bloody boring.

[MS]

Sing away dudes.

[Dani_]

i like the word "whoredom" its great, im adding it to my vocab!

[AAS]

i like the word "whoredom" its great, im adding it to my vocab!

Have a look at your banner dani


A good curry give courage to do what is on the top of that word LOL

[Thunderstruck]

I don't wanna see Cam's ass everytime I come here!!!!

[Dani_]

its coopers, not cams
c'mon you love it

[Surandy]

Just gotta ask a question, why is it the people in the top of the western grandstand dont like when the songs sung? Is anyone here one of those people, and if so.... why shouldnt we have some "fun" at games and a bit of a sing.

I am one of those people in the top of the Lazarus Stand and I know what you mean. I try and sing along with the Orford chant, I yell out Melbourne when the cowbell is a-ringing. I don't know what it is about that stand, this is my first year sitting there as a member. Previous I was in the Western Terrace.

[Lord Reynoldson]

In regards to not many people singing the Magic Hat song, it came over rather clearly on the foxtel telecast as though the whole crowd was singing it.

[Surandy]

In regards to not many people singing the Magic Hat song, it came over rather clearly on the foxtel telecast as though the whole crowd was singing it.

The microphone must have been right in front of the singers then coz it didn't sound that loud to me, although it is hard to tell for sure when you are one of the singers (allbeit on my own).

[Lord Reynoldson]

Must've been right in front of them then. Was loud and clear enough for me to sing along with at home.